‘As men of God, we have a call to holiness,’ Deacon Joseph Jones tells fathers and sons during annual gathering at Detroit parish
DETROIT — Fifty men of various ages gathered April 18 at Sacred Heart Parish in Detroit, learning from one another and giving witness to the God-given role men share in building up themselves and their families for Christ's kingdom.
The Iron Sharpens Iron Father-Son Prayer Breakfast, sponsored by the Archdiocese of Detroit’s Office of Black Catholic Ministry, allowed fathers and sons to commune together and share their experiences on the roles and responsibilities men have in their families and the Church, said Deacon Joseph Jones of St. Charles Borromeo Parish in Detroit, who served as the keynote speaker.
Referencing the event's theme, Deacon Jones reflected on the meaning of "iron sharpening iron" — of one man sharpening another — and the two ways he said that's done. Iron both forms and shapes iron, as well as sharpens it, Deacon Jones said, drawing analogies to the two ways men can help other men — specifically fathers helping their sons.
“The first way is the ability to shape the character of another person, how we raise young men, how we instill values in their lives. The second way is how we offer advice, encouragement and admonition, calling men to change directions when needed,” Deacon Jones said.
The annual prayer breakfast provided a space for men to reflect on fatherhood, the men who played a role in shaping their own lives, and the ways men can help shape others' lives, particularly in the father-son relationship.
Detroit Archbishop Edward J. Weisenburger delivered opening remarks at the breakfast, offering a brief reflection on his father, a World War II veteran who served in the military for more than 30 years, including as a helicopter pilot and flight instructor in Vietnam.
“I always appreciated the fact that he enjoyed being with me, and in his old age, I very much enjoyed being with him,” Archbishop Weisenburger said. “And that was a real blessing. It blessed us in life, and it’s the example for me, I think, of how it should be with everyone. The fact that you all are here today, sons and fathers and beyond, is really a blessing. It’s a sign of who we are at our best in Christ.”
In his keynote address, Deacon Jones lamented what happens to families when men do not embrace their roles as providers and leaders.
“Money has become the foundation of public life, instead of the family, and that has led to an epidemic of fatherlessness, which has caused the deterioration of the foundation of the family structure,” Deacon Jones said. “When there are no fathers in the home, or only one parent in the home, children are more likely to drop out of school, especially boys. They are less likely to find employment, more likely to engage in criminal behavior, and, as a result, end up in prison.
“For girls, they are more likely to have children out of wedlock, more likely to be suspended from school, and one bad behavior builds on another,” Deacon Jones added. “We see all these problems when fathers aren’t in the picture.”
Men can fight against these trends by taking up their roles as men of character, forged in the Church community and ready to help other men fulfill their vocation, Deacon Jones said.
“As men of faith, men of God, we are called first to be holy,” Deacon Jones said. “Second, we have to be ready for action. We can no longer sit on the sidelines and say, 'That is not my problem.' We have to take stock, stand up with one voice, and if we do that, who will stop us? If we stand for holiness, if we stand to be visible and proactive in our parishes, who can stop us?"
If men do that, and encourage one another to do the same, the Church will be much better off for it, Deacon Jones added.
The prayer breakfast featured a panel discussion with prominent members of Detroit's Black Catholic community, who spoke about the impact other men have had in their lives, especially when it comes to embracing their masculinity rooted in Christ.
One of the panelists, Edward Cotton, who serves as director of mission support for Detroit's Lower Eastside Family of Parishes, reflected on the lessons his own father taught him about manhood.
“My father taught me what masculinity actually was, and it’s something I want to share with you today,” Cotton said. “Masculinity means providing protection, love and nurturing. There is no 'toxic masculinity,' just toxic people, which aren’t examples of masculinity. There is nothing toxic about being a man. We need each other. We need groups like the Knights of St. Peter Claver to help build each other up and show other men what it means to be a man.”
Gary Grant, an alumnus of Loyola High School in Detroit and labor activist with the United Auto Workers Local No. 7, said it's important for men to forge strong bonds with one another, in order to create a network of support.
“When we build each other up in any type of arena, no matter where you find your brothers — either at work, the parish, or in a fellowship group — you realize that when you can share your stories, your struggles and your experiences, you might have brothers who have shared in something similar,” Grant said. “Iron sharpening irons means you are not on this journey alone.”
