Livonia — Chastity speaker and author Jason Evert kept it casual but informative at St. Edith Parish on April 26, talking about love — and lust — with youths and young adults.

Making the first of five stops throughout southeast Michigan, Evert discussed scenarios young people today might deal with when it comes to sex, intimacy, chastity and being one’s “authentic self” in age of Instagram and Facebook profiles.

“The reason why we tell people to live chastely is not to scare people, it’s not to punish people,” said Evert, who with his wife Crystalina runs a Denver-based ministry called the Chastity Project. “We do this because we love each other. If it’s real love, it’ll bring you closer together and closer to God.”

Evert has been touring the country for 18 years giving chastity talks, relaying his own story living a chaste life and thinking of his wife long before he even knew her, and teaching students the need to respect themselves in order to receive respect from others.

“So many times, people who are used and abused in sexual relationships feel a sense of lost respect, and when we lose that respect of self, it turns into a loss of respect for others,” Evert said. “Girls, never convince yourself you’re not worthy of dignity, because if you don’t believe in that, guys will never show you you’re worthy of dignity.

“Guys, Jesus shows us how to love,” Evert continued. “As Christ so loved the Church, we are to love our wives. Jesus died for the Church. So the next time you think you need to be with her, ask, are you willing to die for her?”

Evert relayed the story of his wife, who kept writing letters to her future husband every time she was pressured into doing something she was uncomfortable with, and how for a wedding gift, his wife presented those letters to him.

Evert stressed the Church’s calling to living a chaste life isn’t a punishment or a restriction to living a life of joy, but rather a guide to living a rich, fulfilling life of love.

“If you hope to get married that means you’re going to love and honor your spouse all the days of your life, and today is a day in your life,” Evert said. “Think about your future wife, your future husband. Who are they with, what is he or she doing? This isn’t a condemnation; this is a calling to love.”

Evert finished his tour of Michigan with trips to Jefferson and St. Mary’s Catholic Central high schools in Monroe, Airport High School in Carleton and St. Michael Parish in Livonia and spoke with The Michigan Catholic on some of his reflections after his stops in Michigan.

“What I’ve seen in the last 72 hours is there are a lot of students dealing with homosexuality, transgenderism, heroin, rape, STDs, students all over struggling with this stuff,” said Evert, who spends an hour or two after each event talking with young people who are dealing with issues they feel they can’t bring to anyone else.

“You really understand and hear these conversations, the depth of understanding these 15-year-olds are going through,” Evert said. “You hear the need for mercy and compassion for today’s youth. One boy gave me a drawing of me with fire coming out of my ears. He said the fire means you hear us, you realize who we are.”

Evert said despite everyone seemingly having a cellphone and thousands of “friends” or “followers” on social media, today’s youths are disconnected from one another, reduced to shallow façades of profile pictures and short status updates.

“You have these kids living through this false façade, and nobody seems to know what they are really going through,” Evert said. “So when you form that connection with a student, they see they aren’t talking to a person on the screen. They are looking for that feeling of being loved, respected, to be someone to be open with.”

Evert encourages young people who talk with him after events to stay in contact; he’s even received wedding invitations or letters from priests and religious sisters about how his talks encouraged their vocation.

Still, Evert insists that parents, not himself or the schools, need to be the primary educators about sex and chastity with their children, and there is a need to change the conversation to meet the needs of today’s youth.

“The game has definitely changed in recent years,” Evert said. “One, porn addiction among girls and guys is a larger problem. Not only looking, but becoming porn through sexting. Second, the topic of homosexuality and issue of gender is getting bigger. These are types of things that weren’t on the radar five years ago.

“Kids are asking what this and that means, because they want to know who they are and what they are about. And we need to reaffirm to them. They are more than their sexuality, they are more than how other people see them.”

The Chastity Project

To find out more about Jason Evert and his talks, visit chastityproject.com