Young couples choosing historic city churches as ideal place to start lives together

DETROIT— Happy couples ready to spend a life together with God? Check. Beautiful dress and snazzy tuxedo? Check. Hundreds of family and friends ready to witness a sacrament? Check. Cake? Check, of course. Historic, timeless, awe-inspiring Detroit inner-city church in which to celebrate the big day? Check, but let’s talk details.

This summer, countless couples will be saying their vows in one of Detroit’s many historic downtown churches, beginning their lives together before God and their families underneath the timeless arches, vaults, naves and apses that make Detroit’s churches memorable. But why do so many couples seek that “cathedral-y” feel to their special day?

Alisha Alef and her husband were married at Sweetest Heart of Mary Church in Mother of Divine Mercy Parish in Detroit on June 10, after Googling “pretty cathedral churches in downtown Detroit.”

“I go to St. Hubert in Harrison Township, and I always wanted to get marred in a cathedral-style church with big arches; that’s why I liked Sweetest Heart,” Alef said. “I always dreamed about getting married in a big church.”

Alef and her husband, who’s big into architecture, called the parish and picked a date when St. Hubert pastor Msgr. Ricardo Bass could marry them, offering the memorable setting to a day they’ll never forget.

Chris Hubbard, parish office manager at Mother of Divine Mercy Parish, said the parish has on average more than 60 weddings a year, with more than half being non-parishioners who simply like the aesthetic of the historic churches.

“They just like the looks of the inside of the church compared to the suburban churches,” Hubbard said. “We ask that couples call six months before the wedding. They have to go to classes and go through the archdiocesan form. Fr. Greg Tokarski is available to do the weddings, or they are done by the visiting priest from the couples’ home parish.”

Having a wedding at one of the more historic churches comes with rules of its own, including time limits on pictures and selection of songs for the ceremony.

“Msgr. Bass said the packet that we had to follow was the biggest rule book he’s experienced in his career,” Alef said. “What was in the rule book was things the church asked of us, we weren’t allowed to bring flowers, no bride room, it was get there in whatever transportation you had and wait in the back for about five minutes. There was certain music we couldn’t have, but the organist was very accommodating and did a very good job.”

“Destination weddings” with couples who aren’t parishioners are quite popular at the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament, which leads cathedral rector Fr. J.J. Mech to intensify the marital prep work.

“About 99 percent of the weddings we do are non-parishioners,” Fr. Mech said. “We are now in the process of intensifying preparation for couples getting married here. We see this as a huge evangelization opportunity, building upon the program here.”

While every parish does marriage prep work, Fr. Mech is working with Dave Grobbel, associate director of marriage and family life for the Archdiocese of Detroit, to overhaul the program, especially for couples who aren’t registered parishioners, going over the basics such as how to pray and entering into a relationship with God and one’s spouse.

“We want to make sure it’s not just using the cathedral for the ceremony, but to prepare for matrimony,” Fr. Mech said. “We’re thinking of rather than having a sole meeting with the priest, putting together a team to share their experiences with the couple. We encourage them to ask why they want to get married at the cathedral, why aren’t they doing this at your home parish, that way they can engage more in their parish.”

For some couples who have moved into the city, historic churches such as the cathedral represent the new lives they are building together.

Dave Moore and Alysia Recchia are engaged to be married at the cathedral after meeting one another at the University of Detroit Mercy. The two Metro Detroiters wanted to be married in the city, since that’s where they met and dated.

“We were looking at places downtown, and felt it was the right feeling for us,” Moore said. “We met Fr. J.J. and he was really personable and inviting, and that sealed the deal.”

The meeting with Fr. Mech and instruction on marriage and how to pray together as a couple gives the two a sense of security as they prepare for their wedding, Recchia said.

“It’s so comforting to know we have such a strong guide,” Recchia said. “I didn’t know many churches downtown, but a lot of my family got married at Holy Family, and I wanted to get married somewhere unique to me and Dave. The cathedral is beautiful and nice, and we chose it based on the feel we got there. We felt this is a good place to be, a good place to start.”