Leona Center shares a laugh Sept. 6 with members of the “Christian Marrieds” group, which has been gathering to support, encourage and pray for one another for 30 years. The Centers credit Fr. Edward Prus, who looks on, with inspiring the idea for the Metro Detroit group when he married them three decades ago.METRO DETROIT — Ken McCloskey was getting the oil changed in his car one day, and the technician mentioned he was getting married in a week.
“I said, ‘Congratulations!’” recalls McCloskey, who attends the National Shrine of the Little Flower Parish in Royal Oak. McCloskey wished the man his best, explaining his own marriage “has made me a better person.”
The man replied, “You’re the first person who’s said anything nice about it.”
Fr. Edward Prus, who married a number of the couples at the National Shrine of the Little Flower in Royal Oak, celebrates an outdoor Mass at the Centers' home, assisted by Marc Center.McCloskey, who has been married to his wife, Carol, for 28 years, said the man’s comment was very sad. Ken McCloskey said he believes people have “more respect for marriage than the media portrays,” but after the man’s comment, he realized how much he and his wife were blessed.
Part of that blessing has been their involvement in a group of Metro Detroit Catholic married couples, which for the past 30 years has been meeting and growing together in fellowship and support of their marriages.
Meeting every third Saturday, the group, “Christian Marrieds,” discusses topics pertaining specifically to marriage issues affecting couples today.
On Sept. 6, the group came together to celebrate its 30th anniversary, and to also thank the priest who inspired the idea for the group.
‘Where will you be?’
Standing in her backyard before Fr. Edward Prus celebrated the Saturday vigil Mass, Leona Center — who celebrates 30 years of marriage with her husband, Marc Center, this month — shared about their wedding at Shrine.
She recalled how Fr. Prus, the celebrant at their wedding, had pointed out how happy everyone was, and how the congregation was all there to support the couple on their wedding day.
But, “Where are you going to be when they’re having a hard time?” he had asked seriously.
At the reception, the Centers and several young couples from their prayer group had sat together, discussing what the priest said. They agreed being married would have challenges, and they wondered how to help one another.
When the Centers returned from their honeymoon, the couples decided to meet to “do something about this.”
“Every three weeks since our wedding this group has been meeting,” said Leona Center. “We try to keep the focus on ‘how do we help one another be a married couple, and serve one another, and get one another to heaven.’”
She added the “Christian Marrieds” group has gained new members and others are no longer with them, but it has always been a blessing for those involved.
Memories, blessings
During his homily Sept. 6, Fr. Prus said he didn’t realize his words 30 years ago would have such an effect, but that “everything that happens in our life has the potential to be a blessing.”
Chuck and Joann Twigg, parishioners of St. Paul of Tarsus in Clinton Township, had been married three years before the group began, and were looking for just such a group.
The couples of "Christian Marrieds" group: Marc and Leona Center; Tom and Karen Hejka; Joe and Karen Wainz; Chuck and JoAnn Twigg; Fr. Prus; Bill and Linda Hughes with their daughter, Clara; Tom and Sandy O’Hara; Ralph and Lynn Wittla; Mark and Lisa Ludeman; Roy and Holly Ruhle; Ken and Carol McCloskey.Tom and Sandy O’Hara of St. Anastasia Parish in Troy, also married 33 years, particularly enjoy the laughter at each meeting — “It lets you release” — while Bill and Linda Hughes, who have been married 28 years, appreciate learning the virtue of forgiveness.
Joe and Karen Wainz, who attend St. Jane Francis de Chantal Parish in Sterling Heights, have been married for 18 years. They said one of the most significant virtues learned in the group is fidelity.
“(My marriage) makes me a better person,” said Joe Wainz. They appreciate the group’s email prayer chain, as well as the fact that when one of the couples had a baby, others would bring meals.
A lifeline
Shrine parishioners Roy and Holly Ruhle, married 28 years, appreciate the group’s focus on “having a Christ-centered marriage,” but also the support system of like-minded families.
“Our children are witnessing that,” said Roy Ruhle.
Twenty-six years married Tom and Karen Hejka, who attend Shrine, said the group was “more than a group — it’s like a family. If anyone needs anything they will drop everything.”
Tom Hejka added that having a group of other like-minded couples gives perspective on one’s marriage, such as support to avoid envying others’ apparently better situation. “You think they’ve got it made” until you get to know them, he explained.
Ralph and Lynn Wittla, parishioners of St. Justin-St. Mary Magdalen, have been married the longest of the group, 39 years. Ralph Wittla credits his wife for “remaining by my side” during past personal struggles, adding that “God gave me a lifeline with Lynn.”
Marc Center said there is no specific “recipe” for a happy marriage, but “it is possible.”
“As time goes on, the couple understands more (the meaning of marriage),” he said, using the example of giving First Communion to a second grader, who understands the essence of the sacrament, but will continue to grow in an understanding and appreciation of the Eucharist over time.
Referencing the international Retrouvaille program, which helps hurting marriages heal, Marc Center said it is a good idea to have a regular support group for married couples — whether or not their relationship would be classified as struggling.
And statistically, couples that “pray together, stay together,” he added.
