Wyandotte — The scene was a high school dance, where the girls and guys dress to impress and popular music plays background to good-natured high school banter.
But something stood out as not-quite-right to Stella Costello, a freshmen at Our Lady of Mount Carmel. She noticed her friend’s tank top — worn to enhance the modesty of her outfit — would slip down and inch or two as she moved and, thus, fail to entirely serve its purpose.
“I kept telling her to pull it up,” Stella says. “She’s my friend. I didn’t want her to look bad.”
Stella, who recalls this with her mother, Alison, sitting beside her in the living room of their Wyandotte home, is one of many Catholic teenagers hearing the message of modesty in a society that floods young minds with visions of short skirts and plunging necklines.
While popular culture says “If you’ve got it, flaunt it,” it’s not hard to find parents and educators in the Catholic culture that have a very different message: The human body, female or male, reflects the dignity of being made in God’s image — and it should always be presented with that dignity in mind.
The forefront of the battle over dignity of dress is being fought by teenagers starting to taste a bit of independence, and the parents who are trying to steer them right.
“You’ve got to keep up all the time on the dress of young teens,” says Alison Costello. “It sets the tone for how they go into their college years.”
At Our Lady of Mount Carmel Parish , much is done to build a culture of respect for the human body. Last year, a group of parents and high school students gathered to put on a fashion show to model tasteful clothing — a tactic not uncommon in Christian circles.
That effort stemmed from an annual event at the parish called “God’s Plan for Growing Up” — a two-and-a-half hour program for pre-teens and teenagers (young men and young ladies separately) that essentially takes sex education and presents it within the full context of spiritual reality.
“The idea is to build a foundation for future conversation and open up the lines of communication between mother and daughter, and father and son,” says Deborah Bloomfield, who over the years has helped organize and present the program to more than 500 families.
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Our Lady of Mount Carmel isn’t the only local Catholic community trying to reach young people with a message of modest attire. Several parishes and high schools have similar ideas.
At Everest Collegiate High School and Academy in Clarkston, for example, modesty happens to be the “virtue of the month” in March for grade school-aged girls. Chelsea Niemiec, the school’s marketing director who also recently gave a presentation to parents on the subject, says their goal is to instill in young people a desire for modesty that would come with the more base desire of wanting to lead a holy life.
“We work with the girls consistently to teach them how to dress, especially at a young age,” Niemiec says. “But our real focus is on why you want to dress modesty. We try to focus on the reason — which is a deep respect for the person God made you to be… If you develop that true motivation as to why you dress modestly, it’s better than just giving them the rules.”
Pro-life organization Right to Life — Lifespan also has put on four modesty-themed fashion shows within the last five years, and is planning another one for next year at SS. Cyril & Methodius Church in Sterling Heights.
“The whole idea is that by choosing a modest lifestyle, hopefully it’s going to make a difference in some of the choices young people make,” says Linda Seng, who’s helped organize the Right to Life — Lifespan fashion shows.
Catholics have another advantage when it comes to learning about the dignity of the human person, and figure. Catholic parents and educators can — and do — draw from Church writings such as Muleris Dignitatum, Humanae Vitae, and Theology of the Body.
Armed with a deeper understanding of who God made them to be, young people might have a healthier view of how to dress — and at least an understanding why others don’t.
“I don’t think it’s okay (to dress immodestly), but I see it a lot,” says Stella Costello regarding some people she knows in her age group. “That’s how they’ve grown up.”
To learn more about Our Lady of Mount Carmel’s “God’s Plan for Growing Up,” which takes place this month, call (734) 283-9753 or e-mail [email protected]. The program for mothers with daughters 9-12 years of age is March 13; mothers with daughters 13-17 is March 20; and fathers with sons 11-14 years old is March 27.
