Sterling Heights — It took the tiny, yet powerful life growing inside of her to turn her own life around.
Without much support, including from the child’s father, Karla Washington, 23, was in need of help. Desperate, she made several calls to local organizations that could help her through her pregnancy. Abigayle House was the first to respond.
Abigayle House, the former convent at St. Matthias Parish in Sterling Heights, provides residential care for single, pregnant women.
“It must have been God calling me back,” recalls Washington, who is due April 30. Having been a resident since January, her initial goal was to become self-sufficient and “to be a good mother to my son.”
With no family in the area, she says, “I wanted to get back on my feet, find a job and make a better life for myself and my son.”
Abigayle Ministries has transformed her life.
“I’ve learned what I need to do to take care of my baby. I don’t want to struggle. If not for my son, I don’t know where I’d be,” says Washington, as her voice trails off.
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Abigayle Ministries began in 1997 to aid single, homeless pregnant mothers (18 years and older). Besides shelter, it provides case management services, life skills training, and much more.
Bible study is held every Tuesday, and the women are taught to lead a structured lifestyle. In addition, an after care home visiting program was recently implemented to help the women transition to independent living.
Currently housing five women, a maximum of six can live there. The women are each given their own room, and must do chores every day. There is a high efficiency laundry room they share, a chapel and living areas.
Many organizations and churches of all denominations take part in helping maintain Abigayle Ministries, says Diane Wagner, community relations liaison.
“We want to encourage them to be the best parents and to learn healthy behaviors,” she says. “We want to get them involved in their church and find support there with like-minded people.”
It’s not unusual for many of the women to have a history of broken relationships, “but we don’t have your typical client,” says Wagner.
She says last spring, they housed two 18-year-old high school women. A bus would come by and take them to school.
There are those who have GEDs, or bachelor degrees. Others don’t. Some have a relationship with the father. And some don’t.
Regardless, the goal of Abigayle Ministries remains the same.
“We teach them positive ways to work things out,” says Wagner. “We give them coping skills, they learn how to budget, they learn computer skills and we help them find jobs.”
She makes it clear that women who come to Abigayle House do so willingly.
“We don’t want anyone here who doesn’t want to be here,” she says. “We are the hands and feet of Christ. We offer them love and discipline.
“They come a long way.”
Besides the residential program, there is also Abby’s Resource Center to help families within the community with diapers, formula and clothing. Volunteers are always sought for their time and help, including overnight coverage, rides to doctor appointments, and in the resource center.
Volunteer training also is offered for those who are interested, with orientation programs to be held in June and September.
Lindsay, who did not want to give her last name for this report, says she was in rehab for substance abuse when she found Abigayle House last December.
“I learned a lot since I’ve been here,” says Lindsay, 28. “I went through childbirth infant classes, and I learned structure.”
Structure was not something she gave much thought to before she came to Abigayle, she says: “I learned to be responsible and how to cope with different things.”
Now she is a mom to a healthy baby boy, Ivan, who was born in early April. She will continue to care for him at Abigayle House.
Once a child is born, women are allowed to stay there for an additional three months.
While her faith was not an important part of her life before, now, “God is in my life,” she says, looking toward Ivan. “Now, it’s different.”
Her life has changed in a few short months “in every way possible,” Lindsay says. “I want to be a good mom, be responsible and take care of him. I put him first before everything.”
That’s a far cry from when she learned she was pregnant and considered other options.
“Thank God I didn’t,” she says. “I just decided to keep him. Why should I do that when I made the mistake? Why should I be selfish?”
Washington agrees.
“This place opened up my eyes,” she says. “I don’t want my son to suffer. I want to be right here for him when he’s here.”
And faith will be as much a part of his life as it has become hers.
“It’s deepened the confidence in myself and I actually believe in myself,” she says. “God has made things happen in my life and I want to be on track. I keep praying.”
She will name her son Julius Curtis Washington, because “he’s going to be something some day and I needed a good name for him,” she says with a smile. “My son is going to be smart. It’s going to be me and him. I’m going to raise my son right.”
Washington says she is prepared for the road ahead of her once Julius is born.
“I am ready,” she says. “I want to move on with my life.”
For information on Abigayle House, or to volunteer or donate, call (586) 323-1411; or email at [email protected].
