Archdiocese of Detroit considering formation program for little-known vocation
DETROIT — The vocation of consecrated virginity isn’t well-known, but for some, it’s a calling that means a lifetime married to Christ.
The Archdiocese of Detroit has a program of formation under review, making it possible in the near future for Karen Ervin, 38, to enter formation and be consecrated.
Ervin knew something was missing her in life when she was in her late 20s. She turned to her faith for answers and realized through her ministry as cantor at her parish, Our Lady of Good Counsel in Plymouth, that there was a difference between attending Mass and becoming fully active in it.
“Every time I was on the altar singing the Psalms to the congregation, I realized I was in sacred space doing God’s work and it intimidated me,” she recalled. It sparked a fire, leading her to experiencing her faith in a more dedicated, personal way.
She said it was in her early 30s that she “awoke to the Lord’s love for me, and mine for Him, and began discerning consecrated life. Growing up, I always assumed I would marry and have children,” she said. Now, she added, “I couldn’t imagine belonging to anyone other than Jesus.”
Having a series of relationships in her dating life was a further testament that she had “no capacity for another man to fill that space.”
A telling moment came when she went to the Holy Land, she said. “It was in the tomb of Christ that I surrendered my life to Him and felt His loving response and knew His call to consecrated life.”
Through guidance from others, Ervin began researching more on religious life for women. She went on a retreat with the U.S. Association of Consecrated Virgins.
“This retreat affirmed my call to this vocation and my desire to ‘live in the world and not be of it’ as a consecrated virgin,” she said.
Judith Stegman, president of the Lansing-based association, was consecrated in 1993. She said the ancient Rite of Consecration to a Life of Virginity was restored in the Church for use with women in 1970, “as a fruit of Vatican II.” It wasn’t until after an international pilgrimage of consecrated virgins in Rome in 1995 that the vocation began to be more recognized in the U.S., Stegman said. Still, it is rare. Today there are only about 215 consecrated virgins in the United States, and about 3,000 worldwide.
Just hearing the words “consecrated virgin” can bring all sorts of reaction, said Ervin, a high school counselor. She admitted that her choice has been met with anything from true happiness to total negativity.
“My mom would tell you that it warms the cockles of her heart to have Jesus call me to be His,” she said and laughed. “She may even take credit for it as she dedicated me to the Lord upon my birth before anyone in the hospital could get their hands on me. My dad is an ordained deacon in the archdiocese, so naturally he agrees with my ‘yes’ to God’s invitation for consecrated life.
“We go where the Lord calls us to be and they support me in this.”
Others, however, have not been as supportive, but she finds it within herself to be understanding. “We live in a culture, I think, where this is not the norm, to maintain virginity first off and to choose to dedicate it solely to God,” she said. “So some friends or extended family have been angry or told me I would be wasting my life. These are all people who care about me, so I know they are not intentionally trying to hurt me.
“I can see that they don’t understand the awesome wonder of God’s love, the supreme privilege it is to belong to Him, or the mercy He has shown me in giving me this gift in the first place,” she said.
Both anxious and excited about her calling, Ervin said it adds to her anxiety “that we live in a world, I think, which doesn’t prize chastity and instead celebrates sexual conquests. Our culture views sex as a casual rite of passage into adulthood with no understanding of what it means to make a sincere gift of self.”
This is a life-changing experience for Ervin. “I am so thankful to God for all of the ways He has intervened in my life. So, regardless of the future, I hope to daily dedicate my life to the Lord, always desiring to be His servant, and hopefully one day His spouse,” she said. “God-willing, it will unite me to Him in a powerful way for this life and the next, and allow me to witness His love in a real and tangible way to those I encounter.”
As a consecrated virgin, Stegman, said, “It is my eternal vocation from our heavenly Father — to live solely for His Son in the midst of this world. It is truly a spousal vocation. To me, to be a consecrated virgin means to know and love Jesus as my Divine Spouse — to relate to Him in prayer and in work and in play as my Spouse.
“Hopefully, too, I witness to His love as Spouse to others, for He wants to be the Bridegroom of every soul,” Stegman said.
“With the consecration, my entire life was settled in an eternal marriage with the King of Kings. He embraced me with His love in a new and strong way, and I could never look back.”
Besides bringing awareness and understanding about consecrated virgins, she also works with others to coordinate the association’s annual convocation of consecrated virgins, along with its informational conference.
The organization is entirely voluntary, she said, and not funded by the Church, “so there is always something to be done.”
“Virginity is a gift that has been given to some. To the woman who has been given the gift of virginity and is called to give this entirely to Jesus, there can be no more joyful life than that of consecrated virginity,” Stegman said.
Ervin is excited about the path ahead of her. “In the end, I know Jesus loves us with an all-consuming love and gives us His grace so we have the strength and courage to do the hard things, enfolding us in His embrace in the process.
“I trust in Him to make my life fruitful and by His design, so what do I really have to worry about?”
Michele Samartino is a freelance writer from Rochester.
