Marriage is a journey from selfishness to selflessness, Bishop Fisher tells husbands and wives during Year of Hope celebration
DETROIT — A husband and wife celebrating 70 years of marriage and newlyweds who just exchanged their vows months ago joined dozens of married couples gathered July 27 at the Cathedral of the Most Blessed Sacrament.
Detroit Auxiliary Bishop Robert J. Fisher celebrated the Jubilee of Wedding Anniversaries Mass, beginning his homily by asking couples to raise their hands if they had been married for longer than 10 years.
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As the bishop progressed up the milestones — 20 years, 30 years, 40 years — the assembly applauded when one couple remained, celebrating 70 years of matrimony.
“Congratulations, and God’s blessing to you,” Bishop Fisher told the couple as the applause subsided.
In a lighthearted moment, Bishop Fisher told the story of a couple who had gone to get a papal blessing of their marriage.
“A cousin of mine was studying for the priesthood in Rome, and when he had the chance to finally go meet Pope Francis, right in front of him was this Italian couple who had been married for 50 years,” Bishop Fisher said. “The wife said, ‘Holy Father, I've been married 50 years, and I have to tell you, my husband is an absolute saint, but Holy Father, I’m a martyr.’”
The anecdote drew laughter from the assembly.
“And that was the response that came out of the Holy Father,” Bishop Fisher quipped.
The wedding anniversaries Mass was organized by the Archdiocese of Detroit’s Office of Family Ministry as a way for couples to celebrate their marriages at the cathedral and to obtain a plenary indulgence as part of the Jubilee Year of Hope established by Pope Francis.
“Pope Francis said we pray that this Jubilee Year of Hope strengthens our faith, helps us to recognize the risen Christ in our daily lives, and that it transforms us into pilgrims of Christian hope,” Bishop Fisher said. “The jubilee year is meant to be a reboot. Like whenever you have a problem with your computer, they always tell you, before you call for help, just try a reboot; start all over again and see if that fixes the problem.”
Bishop Fisher said couples could obtain a plenary indulgence for attending the Jubilee of Wedding Anniversaries Mass at the cathedral, or by visiting any of the 12 Year of Hope pilgrimage sites scattered throughout the Archdiocese of Detroit.
When married couples pray together, they are inviting Jesus into their relationship to be an anchor of everlasting hope, no matter what challenges they face in married life, the bishop said.
“As Christians, we are a hope-filled people because we truly believe the words of Jesus Christ,” Bishop Fisher said. “We know that he won’t abandon us, that he will be with us in whatever situation we find ourselves. All we need to do is let him in.”
Bishop Fisher recalled when he counseled married couples before their wedding that
Marriage, like all vocations, is a journey from selfishness to selflessness, Bishop Fisher said. Couples grow in holiness and virtue together by learning to put the needs of their spouse ahead of their own, and by learning to put God's desires first, Bishop Fisher said.
“Isn’t that the journey of the Christian life for all of us, to move from selfishness to selflessness?” Bishop Fisher asked. “No matter your vocation, whether you’re a priest, a bishop, a married person, if you’re single, a vowed religious — all of us have that path laid before us to perfect charity in our vocation, to pour out our love for one another.”
Connie and Chuck Sidor of St. Andrew Parish in Rochester attended the Jubilee of Wedding Anniversaries Mass with some of their children and grandchildren to have their marriage blessed after recently celebrating 50 years.
“We’ve been married 50 years — May 30, 1975 — and we were supposed to be lectors at church today, but we got subs so we could have our marriage blessed,” Connie Sidor told Detroit Catholic. “We thought this was a nice thing to do with some of our kids and grandkids. Marriage is such a blessing, and people underrate it, but it’s fantastic to have someone to go through life with.”
The Sidors have four children and nine grandchildren, and were happy to see so many couples with their children in the pews.
“The peace and camaraderie it brings when you are a parent with children in church and you see other parents, it just makes your heart happy,” Connie Sidor said.
On the other end of the spectrum, Erik and Sarah Mitra of Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish in Plymouth haven’t celebrated a wedding anniversary — yet — but still wanted to attend the Jubilee of Wedding Anniversaries Mass.
“Nov. 16 was our wedding day, so eight months, not quite a year, but we thought it would be nice to come here and celebrate,” Sarah Mitra said. “We got married (at the cathedral), and my husband and I thought this would be good to celebrate our first eight months together.”
After Mass, couples enjoyed sweet treats from MJ's North End Ice Cream Parlor, whose owners are parishioners at the cathedral.
While enjoying fellowship after Mass, the Mitras reflected upon what they've learned so far in their first year of marriage.
“I feel like patience is the biggest thing,” Erik Mitra said. “People aren’t perfect; they’re going to make mistakes, so you have to be forgiving and patient with them and at the end of the day come together. It’s the compromises, the communication and finding what makes you both happy and heard all at the same time.”
Sarah Mitra echoed her husband's sentiments.
“I really liked what (Bishop Fisher) said about the selflessness part, how in marriage you go from being selfish to selflessness,” Sarah Mitra said. “So much of the ins and outs of marriage is learning to navigate just being there for each other, no matter what, and forgiveness and just constant learning and understanding.”
