Livonia — Michael Kenney remembers hearing Holy Cross Fr. Patrick Peyton’s dictum, “The Family that Prays Together, Stays Together,” as a young man, and he and his wife have put it into practice as they’ve reared their seven children.
“My wife, Mary Claire, and I have always made that a commitment as a family,” said Kenney, who is vice president for planning and enrollment management for Madonna University.
The Kenneys are members of Our Lady of Sorrows Parish in Farmington.
He said the rosary is of “particular importance” as a way to teach the children elements of the Gospel and an opportunity to teach about the life of Jesus.
With regular daily prayer and reflection on Scripture, “over time, beautiful insights take root,” he continued.
“I’ve come to really appreciate the idea of spiritual exercises, just like physical exercise,” Kenney said.
Sometimes the family prays the rosary together as part of their group prayers, though sometimes those prayers take other forms. But Kenney prays it daily as he drives his car, sometimes joined by other members of the family who are riding along.
Each night there are prayers at the dinner table, and later, Kenney reads about the saint of the day with his sons and also with his daughters.
Kenney said he has been a supporter of Fr. Peyton’s Family Rosary Crusade, now called Holy Cross Family Ministries, and has met Fr. Wilfrid Raymond, CSC, his successor.
Noting that Fr. Peyton’s cause for canonization is under review, he said the late priest’s message about family is as vital today as it was a half-century ago.
“Every age has its challenges, but what strikes me as unique about our time is the mass media’s ability to instantaneously communicate bad images and messages,” he said.
On a recent Sunday afternoon, the members of the Kenney family were together at their Livonia home, except for the two oldest daughters — one who is away at college and one who has graduated, and the two of them were with each other.
Mary Claire Kenney said one aspect of the family’s daily routine is that she spends some time every evening with the younger girls before they go to bed.
“We say one Hail Mary and one petition, and I ask them to tell me one great thing that happened to them on that day,” she explained, adding, “That way, we spend some time reflecting on the good, as well as what we need help with.”
She has also made praying the rosary a part of her daily routine. “I drop the girls off at (Our Lady of Sorrows) school, and then I go into the church for the rosary almost every morning now. When I do the rosary in the morning, I find it calms me down and fills me with grace, and the decisions I have to make that day really become much clearer,” Mary Claire Kenney said.
She added that it gives her a feeling of being protected: “You feel Mary’s arms around you, almost like a shield.”
The Kenneys adjust their evening mealtime so that all the children who are still living at home can be at the table. “We will eat as late as 7:30 p.m., so we can all be together during the week, or adjust the time of Sunday brunch,” Mary Claire Kenney said.
Daughter Elizabeth, 17, called the example her parents have set “a really good thing.”
“It helps me to grow in my faith,” she said.
Son Michael, 14, said their family prayer times are “a great time to bond and to come closer with each other, and at the same time brings us closer to God.”
Bethany Cabrera, a member of Guardian Angels Parish in Clawson, said her family prays together before every meal, and every night before going to bed.
She and her husband, Michael, have three surviving children, ages 3, 5 and 7. “”We lost one who is in heaven already,” she said.
Although Cabrera had never heard of Fr. Peyton, she had heard his famous slogan about families praying together and staying together. “Well, I believe it’s true,” she said, adding that she has tried to model their family prayer life on the example of her husband’s family.
Mike Ryan, of Our Lady of Good Counsel Parish in Plymouth, said his children, who attend Spiritus Sanctus Academy in Plymouth “have a lot of input into” his family’s prayer life.
He said the sisters who run the school — members of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist — are constantly sending prayer ideas and materials home with the children.
“I’m a big fan of mixing it up, of not doing the same thing every day,” Ryan said.
And he said he is personally motivated by the challenge his pastor, Fr. John Riccardo, has made to the men of the parish to set an example of prayer and faithful churchmanship for their children.
“Fr. Riccardo has always said, ‘If the men do it, everybody will do it,’” he said.
In addition, Ryan said the family is kept faithful to their commitment to family prayer by his wife, Irene: “My wife is absolutely the rock of this family.”
Fr. Riccardo also endorses an approach to family prayer that provides for a variety of prayer and devotional experiences. One idea he recommends, based on his own family experience growing up, is that one day a week should be set aside to pray for one particular member of the family.
But while he recommends that parents expose their children to various devotions and great prayers that are part of the heritage of the Church, he said the most important thing is not to say prayers, but to pray.
“We have a lot of people who have been taught prayers, but not taught to pray, to talk to the Lord,” Fr. Riccardo said.
The problem with just reciting prayers is that the person’s heart may not be involved: “What the Lord really wants from us is not something mechanical, but a relationship.”
That doesn’t mean discarding traditional vocations when praying with one’s children, but making sure the heart is engaged, he continued.
Deacon Bob Ovies, a senior deacon who continues to give talks and conduct retreats, said family prayer is an extension of the practice of couples praying together that he is known for advocating.
He said married people should pray as individuals, pray with their spouses, pray with their children, and pray with the wider Christian community (when they go to Mass).
