I was in high school, I had an assignment in religion to interview a married couple. One of the required questions for the interview was, “How did you know that you loved the other person?” I will never forget the answer that my mother gave when I interviewed her: she had known that she loved my father when she realized that she could not imagine her life without him but was willing to give him up if that was what he thought was best for him.

My mother’s answer showed a heroic example of what love really is. While not devoid of feelings of affection — she could not imagine her life without my father — it is not dependent on those feelings. In fact, her love was willing to sacrifice her own feelings for the good and the true happiness of the other.

I think this mirrors Our Lady’s love at the foot of the cross. How could Mary imagine life without her beloved Son — even for the span of three days? And yet, she willingly participated in His sacrifice of offering Himself to the Father because that was what He desired. Nothing was more precious to her than the loving will of her Son and His Father.

The great examples of sacrificial love of Our Lady and my mother can be imitated by us daily in small, but still heroic, ways. Am I willing to sacrifice myself for the good of the other, for those with whom I live and work? In order to make life more pleasant and more joyful for those around me, am I willing to give up my own whims and preferences, my “need” for constant attention, my desire to have things go my way? In many ways, this is related to the almsgiving of Lent. Do I give of myself, on a day-to-day basis, in sacrifice out of charity to others?

In a conference with some of us sisters this summer, our prioress general, Mother Assumpta, expressed this idea by encouraging us to be always “on the giving end” of charity. In other words, true love does not look toward what it will receive from a relationship. Rather, truly Christian — that is, Christ-like — love looks to what it can give to the beloved, how it can concretely express this love for the beloved.

When we love as Christ loved, we seek what is truly best for the other, what will truly bring him or her lasting, not fleeting, happiness, even if that means we personally must make sacrifices — or perhaps precisely because it means we have the privilege of making a sacrifice for them. Following the example of Our Lord and His Mother, who willingly sacrificed of themselves for our sake, may we be willing to give of ourselves daily in charity this Lent, sacrificing our conveniences to bring true joy to one another.

Sr. Mary Martha Becnel is a member of the Ann Arbor-based Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist.