What does it really mean to “turn the other cheek”? It’s a question often asked by my students, and a sensitive one, especially since I teach all girls.

It’s struck me more than once that we humans bring our experience into our theology; it’s inevitable. If our experience is too limited, it can shroud our theology with an overly narrow view. The same thing can happen if we’ve been poorly catechized.

I remember a police call I answered once that brought that to mind. It was a scenario I experienced far too often. A girl was being beaten up regularly by her live-in boyfriend. One day, while he was at work, she mustered the strength to call the police. We paid the gentleman — if that’s what you want to call him — a visit at his place of employment and arrested him. On our way back to the station his cellphone rang. Know who it was? You guessed it; his girlfriend. She wanted to know if we could “un-arrest” him. About 30 minutes after we “booked” him, guess who showed up to bond him out? You got it. With Bible in hand, she recited Jesus’ words: “If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn and offer the other as well … I need to forgive him.”

At the heart of this woman’s plight was far more than a self-esteem issue. It was a poor understanding of the Bible. Knowing Scripture is important, but understanding it in its proper exegetical sense is vital.

I think it’s important for my students — in fact, all of us — to remember that Jesus often spoke using hyperbole to prove a point. “If your right eye causes you to sin, pluck it out”; “When you give alms, don’t let your left hand know what your right hand is doing”; “Let the dead bury the dead.” The point being made here is not to gouge your eye out, or forget about your mourning family. It’s to do whatever is necessary not to sin; to put God first and not be double-minded.

In ancient Jewish culture, an insult was sometimes accompanied by a two-sided strike. First on one cheek, then on the other. A backhand stroke was a very offensive one. What Jesus is saying when he challenges us to “turn the other cheek” is not: “Turn the other cheek to give someone an opportunity to strike you again” — but, “turn the other cheek to give them an opportunity not to.”

In effect, don’t be so quick to judge. Don’t harden your heart with the poison of revenge; allow your offender to “make amends” for his offense by not following through. It’s the idea that we look for the good in others rather than the bad; that we give the benefit of the doubt, the very thing we ask God to do for us.

But what if our offender doesn’t have a conscience? Does Jesus expect us to stand there and be someone’s punching bag? The quick answer to that is no. The longer answer is in the Catechism. If we believe life is sacred, doesn’t that mean ours is, too? And if so, don’t we have the right to defend it? And what about the use of force? Believe it or not, there are people out there with evil intent who don’t want to go to jail. What amazes me is the naiveté of some who don’t believe that. I’ve had the misfortune of meeting people like that over the years, individuals who love to criticize any use of force, forgetting they enjoy the freedoms to voice those opinions because someone else was willing to use it. Nor am I advocating a vigilante mindset.

I was criticized often during my years as an officer, under the guise of concern that force was being used at all. I often wondered if these “concerned” pacifists were simply misguided, or trying to mask a deep self-righteousness. I’ll leave that up to God.

I hope my daughters are never taught by someone whose experience is so narrow that they paint a picture of the world that simply isn’t true. Nor do I want them to lose their faith in humanity. There must be a balance. I just hope I can give them the wherewithal to find it.

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Paul Stuligross teaches theology at Livonia Ladywood High School and is a former police officer.