The “conversation” — determining wishes for burial arrangements for oneself or a loved one — is hard, but important to try to discuss prior to the time when the family will be grieving, said Chappell.
In his 2013 pastoral letter, “In Union with Christ’s Dying and Rising,” Archbishop Allen H. Vigneron acknowledged that many people are tempted to “engage in the process of mourning as an intense, but merely human drama.”
“And we know that there are many who, out of a different kind of concern, wish to avoid ‘making a fuss’ in favor of extremely simplified acts of ‘saying goodbye’ to their deceased loved ones,” the archbishop wrote.
However, “No Catholic should pass over to the Father without being accompanied by the prayers of the Church,” he added. “Whenever one of the faithful dies, we have a duty to celebrate these rites with reverence, awe, and great faith and hope.”
Chappell offered a few basic questions to help assist the conversation about these final wishes:
- “What do you want the deposition to be?” The Church permits the cremation of the bodies of deceased faithful, though burial is still preferred.
- “Above ground or in-ground?” Entombment in a mausoleum is an alternative to the traditional in-ground burial of a body.
- “Do you like to be by trees?” Loved ones can always visit the cemetery and walk through the area, so it’s important to have a feel for the cemetery.
- “Are you creating a family legacy by purchasing graves all close together, or will you have individual spaces?” Each family is different.
