By Bill and Monica Dodds | Catholic News Service

Our tongue-in-cheek list proves it's easy to slip, slide and wiggle your way through Lent with little or no effort. All you have to do is:

1. Skip Mass on Ash Wednesday. The church had to put this feast day right in the middle of the workweek? Really? On a school night? That's not family-friendly.

2. Laugh about giving up something for Lent. How medieval, right? Suddenly God doesn't want you to drink as much coffee or eat desserts? OK, maybe cutting back on the smoking is a good idea, but that would be for health, not holiness, right?

3. Be practical. If you drink less coffee or have fewer desserts, if you smoke less (or, God forbid, try to quit!), you would be an absolute bear, wouldn't you? You most certainly would. There'd be no living with you and -- you're sure -- you'd take it out on your spouse and kids. No way God wants that.

4. Remember that somewhere in the Bible it says God doesn't want sacrifices. You're sure you heard that. It struck a chord because you really liked it. There was probably more to it but, ...

5. Forget that the church says something about adults and meals and meat when it comes to Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. What was it? There have been so many changes that it's hard to keep up. That's not your fault.

6. Ignore that little mental tickle that says, "This is a Friday in Lent, so ..."

So what? In the old days, Catholics didn't eat meat on Friday, but that was dropped a long time ago. Besides, you're absolutely sure about this, there are some exceptions to the rule, aren't there? If there is a rule. And is it a rule or a guideline? Probably a guideline. Helpful for some people but not all. Not you, for example.

7. Agree to observe meatless Fridays, but only remember that decision after you've ordered a restaurant meal with meat, bought the kids a bag of hamburgers or fixed a lovely (meaty) dinner at home. Wasting that food would be a sin. You can't do that! Better to eat it -- while it's hot!

8. Choose an incredibly difficult personal sacrifice to make this Lent, and then break that promise on the day after Ash Wednesday. Contritely admit that you've blown it for this Lent, but make a firm resolution to succeed next year. (This, of course, means that your difficult personal sacrifice is tabled for 12 months. You are so disappointed!)

9. Don't give a second thought to going to confession during this season. It has been a long time since you've done that, and hasn't the procedure changed? Better find out more about it later, when you have more time. And then go. Later. (And weekday Mass might be nice but, come on, it's a weekday! Only thing worse would be Saturday morning.)

10. Shake your head in sad wonder that Lent, which is supposedly there to help people prepare for Easter, just doesn't do anythingfor you. It's a shame, really. The church should update it and make it more helpful for families.

On the Web: Really Observing Lent

On the other hand, to help prepare for a terrific Lent, visit the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops' site at www.usccb.org/lent.

Bill and Monica Dodds are the founders of the Friends of St. John the Caregiver and editors of My Daily Visitor magazine. Their website is www.FSJC.org. They can be contacted at [email protected]. For a free copy of "The Little Book of Caregiver Prayers" call 1-800-392-JOHN (5646).