Laura Sweeney | The Michigan Catholic

This past spring, husband-and-wife team Joseph and Kathleen Sanderson retired after decades of teaching at St. Mary Catholic Central High School in Monroe.  In their years working with parents to educate high school children – and raising two now-grown children of their own, Jennifer and Joel — the Sandersons have gained some wisdom when it comes to how parents can be a positive part of their children’s education. They shared some of that wisdom in an interview with Michigan Catholic’s special correspondent Laura Sweeney. Here is an edited transcript of the interview:

 Q Why did you want to be a teacher?

Joseph: Very early on in grade school, probably sixth grade, I knew I wanted to be a football coach. And back in the late ’50s, if you wanted to coach you had to be a teacher. I enjoy challenging students and I enjoy seeing them become successful. I ended up coaching football for 29 years.

Q And you, Kathleen?

Kathleen: At that point in time, if you wanted a career and you were a female it was teaching, nursing or secretarial, pretty much. And we always played school around the house and I always wanted to be the teacher. I think it was just a natural development from that point on that I was supposed to be a teacher.

Q You’ve been married for more than 40 years. You went to separate universities, so where did you meet?

Kathleen: You really want to know? We went to kindergarten together. We are both from Sandusky, Ohio. We went to kindergarten together, different grade schools, and then the same high school. We started dating in high school. And we did long distance during college. So, I always say I knew exactly what I was getting into. 

Q What’s the most important lesson you’ve learned from your students?

Joseph: They want to know what the expectations are and will meet your expectations – no matter where they are.  They want to know what to expect from you.

Kathleen: Don’t sell them short. They will reach your expectations, if you put the bar high enough. If you put it low, they won’t go any higher. But don’t sell them short.  Don’t think they can’t get there, because they can.

Q In your opinion, what is the most important thing for a high school student to learn in academic life?

Joseph: I think the most important thing for them to learn is to develop a work ethic. Academics and athletics are the vehicles to teach work ethic, dependability, responsibility and teamwork. I always felt that as coach I was a teacher, and as a teacher I was a coach.  Those are vehicles that develop students into quality citizens. That is the most important job as a teacher.

Q What is the most important thing for a high school student to learn in their faith life?

Kathleen: They need God in their life. That they’re not alone and they can’t do something alone. You try to instill in them the value of a faith, the benefits of faith and the benefits of prayer.

Q How can parents stay active in the education of their students at the high school level?

Kathleen: I always tell the parents: freshman year is first grade all over again. The only difference is they don’t cry when you leave them at the door. They need you involved in their life just as much, if not more, than back then.  Parents are the first teacher. They teach them first about Jesus. They are the primary educator and need to continue to be.

Q Communication between students and the parents is hard sometimes. Do you have any suggestions?

Kathleen: I think parents need to be involved. Parents have to be parents. Not friends. I think in this day and age, a lot of parents want to be the best friend.

Joseph: They want to be their child’s buddy.

Kathleen: And that doesn’t work when they’re a teenager. They want to know limits. They want to know the boundaries. And they will test.  Oh, they will test every boundary you put out there until they find out where it is set in stone. And it’s amazing when your children become parents, how much you really knew! You can’t just establish communication when they turn 13. You need to be involved all along. But I always had a parent’s prayer from a Dear Abby column back in the 1960s that I would share with the parents. And one of the points was “Always allow your child to be a child. Don’t expect of them the judgment of adults. Allow your child to make mistakes. Be strong enough to say no and know when to say yes.”

Q Do you have suggestions for parents?

Joseph: Every year, we hand out a pamphlet to all the parents that explains the ABCs of education and we firmly believe in them.

•  Ask — You have to ask the child what’s going on.

•  Be involved — You have to be involved.  Whether it be a conduct problem or a grade that is not what you expect, you just don’t ignore it.

• Communication — Communication is the most important thing. The child needs to communicate to the teacher.  The parent needs to communicate to the teacher. And the teacher needs to communicate back to both.

Kathleen: And I always said I am the first line of communication. Come to me first. I’m the one that teaches your child. The teacher sees them five days a week, 48 minutes a day.  I know I can help you. To be successful, it has to be a partnership.